This time of year is very difficult for many people. Someone they love is no longer here to share the joys of the season with. Sometimes, with my daughter, it's my mom we talk about; with Jack, it's his dad. The coping strategy we have is to remember the fun, funny, and special times with our loved ones who aren't here anymore.
This year, for example, we are having dessert at our house for the Annual Huffman Family Progressive Christmas Eve Dinner (Rona safety measures in place). We used to have dessert at our house because the kids were little, and at the end of a long night, they could just go to bed. As they got older and Jason was gone, we split time with Uncle Joe for dessert. Caroline decorated the tree this year and wanted to have dessert at our house again. I'm planning a lot of different desserts, but two of them were the ones that Uncle Joe often brought: cherry cheesecake and chocolate pie. His "paramedic" blanket is draped on the sofa, and a picture that used to hang in his house is on our wall.
The last few days, I've really missed my mom. Little things, but I still miss her. Whenever the sadness creeps in, I give myself a few minutes to wallow in the fact that she's not here. Then, the happy, funny, comforting memories creep in.
*The year she didn't want to set the Christmas tree out on the curb, so she had the idea to burn it in our fireplace. Yeah, that was fun.
*The year she was in Chickasha, Oklahoma with her parents because they needed her. My older sister, younger sister, and I went to the Christmas tree lot where we'd been going for years to pick out the "perfect" tree. It ended up being a really small tree that fit on our coffee table. But we picked it out, decorated it, and then left it on Christmas Day because we decided that we shouldn't spend Christmas without our mom. So we piled into the car and drove to Chickasha to surprise her.
*The year she maced the Christmas Tree to keep Muffin-kitty out of it. Then Sara pet Muffin and rubbed her eyes. Mom forgot to tell us she'd maced the tree.
*The year they put the Christmas tree in a playpen for some reason (we were small), and Sara and I got stuck and couldn't get out.
*Christmas eve services at church.
* Her smile and laughter at us when we opened up our Toats-Toasties at the same time and Sara let the secret slip.
*Her joy and laughter in general.
*As we got older, watching favorite Christmas movies and making funny comments or finishing sentences from the characters in ways that weren't Christmas-y. (She never did that to A Charlie Brown Christmas though).
*Sitting around the coffee table and playing Trivial Pursuit to the point where we knew every answer because we'd played it so much (I attribute that game to my wealth of useless knowledge).
Those are just some of the memories that creep into my mind to push out the sadness.
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