It's been a little over a year when I made a decision that put me on a path of rediscover. I recently had an encounter with a former acquaintance through visiting my alma mater elementary school that will close down this year. It was mentioned that if I wanted to come back to the district, they do pay teachers the highest in the area.
I wasn't going to pursue it, and on a certain level (because of my insecurity with not having enough money to cover issues) it made me sad. I mentioned this to my daughter because she noticed that I was a little down. Her response reinforced for me the decision that I'd made.
She said, "You know mom. I like the _______ Mrs. Huffman and not the old one."
The Old One
The old Mrs. Huffman was realizing the vision was different than the district she worked in. The old Mrs. Huffman was losing her joy of being in the classroom due to the stress of severe behaviors not being addressed, the inequality of support for certain areas (even though it is said there isn't).
The old Mrs. Huffman was losing her hair, gaining weight, chasing a finish line that kept being moved, and going to bed at 8 on weeknights because she was so tired from the day. The old Mrs. Huffman was torn because of what would be lost and then have to work double time to catch up if she missed, was questioned about professionalism when she tried to advocate for students, and was told to solve a problem without support for a topic that teachers were told needed to be fixed.
Basically, the Old Mrs. Huffman was a sinking ship and in order to right her, needed to retire. I could retire that upcoming December, so I figured, I'd go somewhere else, teach for another year and retire at the end of that.
Foreshadowing Change: The ________ Mrs. Huffman
Back in the early 2000's, my late husband and I decided that it would be better for our family and our job opportunities (we wanted to be administrators), if we moved out of the town we lived in. It was a gut wrenching decision for my late husband because he'd envisioned himself working in the same district that his dad had worked in. However, realizing that wasn't going to happen at that point, the decision was made to leave. He ended up getting an administrative job in a smaller district (in comparison to where we were) and that ended up being the best thing ever. He was so happy to be a part of a wonderful district, that we were sad when that ended. While he worked in the district that he loved and felt supported in, I worked as a classroom teacher back in the district I would leave years later.
This foreshadowing event has often played in my mind on the drive home from work. I moved to a smaller district and I love it. The way I felt as a new teacher, is similar to how I feel now. It has been an awesome move. I have lost weight, my hair is growing back, I don't have to stress (too much) about work or the kids. And I decided to not retire at the end of the year.
So, the lesson learned is this: More money (in this situation) means more stress. I wouldn't be able to do it for long before the older symptoms come back. So, I'll go with my gut on this one (and my daughter's opinion) and stay where I am. It's the best place to be bar none.
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