A gift from Jason

This weekend was a wonderful weekend.  I have come to see it as a gift from Jason.  Before Jason passed away, we had talked (albeit briefly) about what would happen when and if he died.  I didn't like the topic because I couldn't imagine my life without him.  He had wanted me to hopefully find someone else who would love me just as much as he did, and love the kids.  It would never be the way he did, but that person would help guide them to become the kind of person Jason would have wanted them to be. 

I met that person, quite unexpectedly in September of 2010 (5 months after Jason died).  I had come to realize that I had been grieving for Jason for some time before, so even though it was 5 months after he died, it had actually been a year since we'd figured something was wrong and Jason started to decline. I had had some trepidations about contacting Kevin mainly because he lived so far way.  But each time I did something, he always appeared.  So I took it as a sign, and hey! if it didn't work out I'd at least have a friend.  So I contacted him, and we began talking over the phone.  Around Labor Day, I asked my mom if the kids could spend the night with her on Saturday, and I'd pick them up on Sunday.  Kevin and I talked and we had come up with a plan to meet halfway in Waco.  But something came up and he couldn't meet, so I made the bold decision (and yes, it was bold for me) to drive all the way to Austin to meet him.  That, in and of itself, I feel was a nudge from Jason.  He was always outgoing and friendly, I was always the introvert. 

Since then, Kevin and I have worked hard to eke out a relationship and partnership even though we were only able to see each other on weekends.  We have both been careful because of our children.  He has three girls, and of course mine.  We have made promises to our children that we plan on keeping.  Kevin had had a bad time the last few years, and so he was very adamant about taking it slow and making sure this was the real thing.  I agreed, and was careful because of my own children.  I needed to find someone who would love me and the children just as much as Jason loved us.  He needed to find someone who would be a partner and support him, just like Jason and I supported each other.  I believe we have found in each other exactly what we were looking for. 

This weekend with his mom, daughters, and Jack and Caroline around, Kevin asked me to marry him and I said yes.  It will be an unconventional engagement with me living in Dallas and he in Austin.  But we've done well to keep the relationship going these last few years, so I'm convinced that we can keep it going until the marriage and beyond. 

I have been given the gift of a second chance at love and partnership, and I believe I have Jason and Ray to thank for that (Ray was Kevin's dad).  Besides my children, this is a gift I will cherish for the rest of my days.  No 180's.