Learning another language

Whether we all know it or not, Americans are bilingual. Not in the sense of knowing another country's language or sign language for that matter. But most of us do know another language: Body language. Some people are better at it than others, but for the most part we all can read body language.

Jack is learning about body language. Here's a little bit of background: I got home yesterday and discovered that Jack had gotten in trouble at school. The incident, with some other boys, was important enough for the supervising teacher to write up an office referral on all 3 boys. Jack says he didn't say it, and based on the information that I received, he didn't. But that's another story.

Jack's problem is that he automatically gets defensive. I don't blame him. He's been in trouble enough times and blamed for some things he didn't do enough times, that he automatically goes into defense mode. His principal didn't have a chance to visit with the boys before 3 o'clock (the incident happened at noon), so Jack knew he was going to have to go and see the principal this morning. So last night he had a lesson in body language.

Here's what he learned:

*Squirming. Squirming, leaving the room, moving around indicates that you are uncomfortable. It might even indicate that you are guilty because you want to be anywhere but there.

*Fidgeting. Messing with things, fingers, pencils etc indicates that you are uncomfortable. It also might indicate that you aren't listening to what the other person is saying. Not listening in this instance is not a good thing.

*Interrupting. Don't interrupt the speaker (adult or child). Listen to what the other person has to say even if you don't like it. Interrupting indicates that you don't want them to finish the story because they're going to say something you don't want them to say. You're hiding something by interrupting them. Trying to get the focus off of what they're saying.

*Yelling. Never yell unless you're a long distance away from a person.

*Calm. Try to remain calm. Looking calm indicates to the other person that you strongly believe in what you're saying or going to say. You're not nervous because you feel that the truth will come out and everything will be fine.

Body language is hard to learn and can take years to learn it. But being able to read someone else's body language helps later in life.