Dear Jason,
Thank you so much for being with the kids today. I only got one call from Caroline, and that was about five minutes of nothing but crying (she calmed down and went back to school), and one from Jack. His came shortly after school started and it was from his first period teacher's room. When I asked if he was okay, he said he just needed to hear my voice. His math teacher lost her 15 year old daughter to AML in 2006, so she understood his need to hear my voice. Other than that, we were good.
I'm not sure what you, Kevin, and God did to Jack's heart, but I appreciate it. He actually wanted to come to the cemetery with us tonight! He has avoided going or went but sat in the car in years past. This year was the first year he actually was okay going, and didn't sabotage our time with you. Caroline did her usual, visiting with you and then running off to explore. I hope no one minds it much, because now she'll run off and explore, but then come back and sit for awhile. They enjoyed their time with you tonight, and I hope you did as well. It made my heart light that they were doing well there, because it's been such a struggle to get them to go visit you without the complete sadness enveloping them. Jack read the post that Amanda put on my Facebook timeline, and just about fell out of his chair laughing. I told him about the time you had to crawl under a table in the kindergarten room to get a child who knew he was in trouble, but didn't want to come out. Then, about you carrying him down the hallway because he wouldn't let go of your neck after you extricated him from underneath the table. Oh yeah, and Jack has totally grown comfortable with himself (more so than usual). Tonight, he was sitting in a chair we brought and started to lean back and relax. Apparently, he didn't realize that the ground dipped down and his chair started to tip backwards. Before I could get up and help him, he'd tipped all the way over. But he somehow kept his drink from spilling! We laughed about it, and he even laughed with us! Remember how angry he'd get if something like that happened when he was little? He actually laughed with us, and was quite proud that he'd fallen all the way backwards and kept his drink from spilling.
You would be proud of the people they have become, and continue to grow into. We brought you flowers, but your parents and Dana had already had some put out. The kids left you two, and gave the rest to people who didn't have any flowers on their graves. That was both of their ideas. Jack even held some back and had me take him to the military part of the cemetery. While he placed the flowers on their tombstones, Caroline said a prayer. I over heard her and it went something like this..."I'm saying a prayer for your family that they are doing okay. Happy Easter, by the way." Then they would move on.
Jack has really come out of his shell, and is trying new things even though he knows he might fail. He mentions you more and is more comfortable remembering you and helping Caroline remember you as well. He reminds me of you alot. Caroline is getting her confidence back. This year was difficult. But I think you would've been proud of me in how I dealt with it all.
We sure do miss you alot, and I'm sure you miss us as well. See you later Handsome Man!
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