Monday, November 14, 2011

Survivor's Guilt?

It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it usually disturbs me.  I had a dream last night about Jason.  The first one was weird, even by my standards but it unnerved me all the same.  The second one broke my heart because even in the dream I knew it wasn't real.  I hate those.  Sometimes I wish my brain would just let me believe for a little while that it could possibly be true.

The first one dealt with a Soap Opera.  My life was basically the soap, which would be funny in itself!  But there was an actor's strike, and when we came back someone else was playing Jason.  I asked the director about it, and he said they couldn't find the original actor and that he wasn't letting anyone find him.  His agent knew where he was but said, Jason didn't want to be found.  Weird, I know.

The second one happened at home.  I was sitting in the den reading, and Jason walked in the front door.  I was so shocked to see him, but I was happy at the same time.  The kids were so thrilled and excited, but then Jason said he couldn't stay for long but that he'd be back.  That's when I woke up.

I've been unsettled all day about those two dreams.

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