This week I have been battling something. I'm not sure what it is, but good Lord it's been rough. It was also my observation week, so I didn't feel like I could miss work. Basically the way my day goes down is as follows: I take Theraflu (dear me that stuff is AWFUL!) to sleep at night, wake up take Tylenol and then Advil on the two hour rotation, teach, then come home and crash. The kids have been very helpful and considerate, which is comforting to know they're such good kiddos.
Monday night, Jack came in and laid down. After a bit he said, "You know mom. Sometimes, I can almost convince myself that dad's been out of town and left his phone at home. That's why I can't talk to him." That was somewhat out of the blue. But I told him that I sometimes thought that too. I told him that right after Jason died, I could almost convince myself that he was at the hospital still and that I just couldn't talk to him. I explained to Jack that I felt that was my brain's way of coping with the loss.
Then he brought up an interesting question. "What do you think dad does all day in Heaven?" That's when the conversation got interesting. I explained to him my view on time in Heaven, and defended it with my rationalization of time in Heaven being slower than time on Earth. We started with the story of Creation, and how I believed that one day in Heaven equaled thousands if not millions of years on Earth. Jack then said, "Kinda like how 1 year of a person is 7 years for a dog?" Yup, kinda like that. So eventhough Jason's been gone for 1 1/2 years, it's hasn't been very long in Heaven, so maybe he hasn't quite realized he's there. Does that make sense? I usually think of that movie with Robert Downey Jr. where the guy dies and then comes back as soon as he realizes he's dead and his daughter (that he didn't even meet) is like 18.
He gave him food for thought and it was something he could understand.
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