Thursday will be one year since we said goodbye to daddy. I can't believe it's been a year (I honestly didn't know how I'd make it). I'm so proud of your resilience and open mindedness to the situation you found yourselves in a year ago. We have talked a lot, the last few days, about this week and here are some things I've learned from you both:
* You are two of the most wonderful children I know. You were thrust into a situation five years ago that no one would wish on any child. Your determination to build memories with your dad has been nothing short of admirable. These memories, even though they are hard to think about, are part of what has kept you on track.
* Your open mindedness to where daddy went and why. At this point in your lives most children are thinking about fun, playing, and being a kid. You two, however, have had to think about what happens to us when we die. I am so thankful that your dad and I found a wonderful church home. That religious anchor has supported us throughout this past year. It has even helped you understand something that you cannot see or grasp with your young minds. Searching for an answer as to why daddy was taken from us so early may never be answered in this life, but it is lessons and stories from the Bible that have helped us draw possible conclusions.
*You are two very compassionate people. This experience has helped you have empathy for others. The bond you two have is the kind that many siblings would envy.
Here is what I hope you will remember in the coming years (especially when you are troubled or sad):
* Many of the wonderful qualities you have come from your dad. He was a very compassionate person, and only wanted what was best for you two. He was so proud the first time we heard your heartbeats. He was constantly amazed that he'd help create two very different human beings, that he hoped would grow up to be whatever they wanted and also be great people. I believe that you are on the right track, and only have to ask yourself what your dad would want or do in certain situations.
* Your dad fought his hardest to be with you. You were always first and foremost in his mind, thoughts, and will to fight. Every milestone or victory he accomplished, he was most happy for you.
* Your dad was very good at what he did. Of course, he had the support and love from his family but that only allowed him to be the best he could be. He never tackled anything alone. He knew his family would always be behind him (or in my case beside him) to fight and do what was needed in order for him to fulfill his goals. He would always want you to remember that you will NEVER be alone. Not only will he and God be on your side, but I will be there as well as your extended family (on Earth and in Heaven).
* He always wanted you to do what made you happy. He did what made him happy, and expects no less from you.
Remember - you are much stronger than you give yourselves credit for. I'm such a proud mom right now, it would embarrass you if I were to tell you. So I'm writing this down so you'll someday read it and remember how special and loved you are. You have been my strength and my reason to get up everyday and face life's challenges without your dad. Notice, I didn't say alone. I'm not alone. I have you both, plus the many friends and family that were touched by our family and their strength.
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