Okay, so I'm having a "I'm feeling sorry for myself don't ruin it" mood. Bear with me. A few days ago, I received in the mail an invitation to my 20th high school reunion. 6 months ago, I was looking forward to it. You see, Jason was still here and I was looking forward to going to the reunion with him. He was looking forward to his, but that's different. I didn't go to my 10th high school reunion for several reasons. It was a really hot summer and I was pregnant with Jack. I don't think I got really big with Jack, but he was a big baby (almost 9 lbs) and I was showing and already uncomfortable 3 months in. I wasn't looking forward to having to buy a maternity dress that was fancy and only wear it for a night. Plus, it was only 10 years (how much had people really done in 10 years).
So now, I was looking forward to my 20th because I had someone to go with. Then April hit and everything went down in flames. It reminded me of my senior year with Prom coming up. I was dating this guy who was older than I was, only a year and he was going to Richland my senior year. We'd been dating for awhile and having a good time. Then on the Friday before I was supposed to back to school from Winter break he broke up with me. Apparently he'd been dating a girl for a little bit that did more than I did (I don't feel badly about that). So now I didn't have a boyfriend or a date for Prom. As the date for prom neared, I still wasn't dating anyone (no big deal there) and no one had asked. Now, one thing I'm sure people won't be surprised to know is that I wasn't a very confident person (still am not really) so I didn't have the nerve or courage (or whatever you want to call it) to ask anyone to Prom and I didn't want to go by myself. There was one guy who was thinking about asking me but asked someone else because he figured someone would have asked me.
So I didn't go to my prom. Now, I'm not sure if I'm going to go to my reunion. It's 20 years later and I'm still not confident about a lot of things. Even though my boyfriend didn't break up with me, my heart is still broken.
1 comment:
I still think you should go. I didn't want to go my 20th (I was single, I gained weight, I feared being judged), but I made myself go. I ended up having a blast and reconnecting with some friends that I had lost touch with.
While no one may have experienced the heartbreak that you have as of late, there will be people there who are worried about being there for other reasons. Just relax and have fun, who gives a crap?
Message me if you want to talk....
:) Martha
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