Last night was my daughter's dance recital. When I was little my sisters and I took dance. I remember the dance recitals as being a place to showcase what you've learned. I also remember the practices leading up to the recital as being a time to make sure you were on the same beat as the other dancers. It's not easy getting a group of kids to dance the same, but with practice you get it that way.
Anyway, the dress rehearsal for the recital was yesterday morning. Now I don't know about you, but I don't remember there being a dress rehearsal when I was little. Maybe there was and I just don't remember. Anyway. The recital was at Berkner High School's auditorium and it was fun watching Caroline up on the stage. There were high school tech kids (giving up part of their summer I might add) running around trying to make sure the microphones were in the right place, cords were out of the way of tiny feet, and the speakers were in the right place so the kids could hear their music. Again, let me stress that they were giving up a Saturday during their Summer vacation to do this.
With that said, it was surprising to me that the lady who owns the dance studio we attend (no more I might add) was downright rude to these students. I mean she talked to them like they were idiots. Now the most shocking part of all of this was that she was doing it IN FRONT OF PARENTS! A friend of mine and I were shocked that she would a)talk like that to anybody, and b) talk like that in front of parents who pay her to teach their kids to dance.
The other thing that bothered me was this: After the recital they had a party at this restaurant. Caroline begged to go, so we dropped off Jason and Jack at home and (at 9:30 p.m.) headed to this restaurant. When the dance lady got there, Caroline was sooooo excited to see her. She ran up and gave her a hug. Ms. S., hugged back and said that Caroline looked much better tonight. On Thursday she'd looked sad and tired (Good Lord woman, she was. She was SICK!!!!! But because of the fact that if she didn't go to the practice you'd bar her from the recital we helped pay for she felt the need to go to the practice!) Caroline and I enjoyed our dinner and conversation with other people from her group.
But at one point during the dinner Ms. S went around to all of the tables. When she got to our table this is what she said in a very sweet, somewhat condescending voice to my little ballerina, "You know why you finished early Caroline? Because you rushed your solo." And she was gone. WTF!!!!!!!!! My daughter did her F'in routine B----. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE knew they finished early.
So this brings me to the title of my post. It seems to me, lately, that people in charge do the following:
1) Try to make the people below them feel inadequate.
2) Very rarely point out the positive.
3) Really aren't good leaders at all, they just lucked into the position.
What happened to leaders actually leading? In my profession I have moved around quite a bit. Some times by choice others by circumstance. I have worked under seven different principals during my 15 years as an educator. Out of that seven, 2 have only truly been good leaders. And by that I mean they've been supportive, helped me grow as an educator, helped me solve problems in the classroom, etc. The other principals very rarely found/find the positive only pointed out the negative, and served the parents wants and needs and not their staffs or the kids.
What has happened to our society that being supportive and positive and helping your employees grow is no longer the responsibility of a leader? I don't know either, but it sure is sad.
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