Have you ever had so much going on that you thought that you were running a race that you couldn't finish. That's how I feel right now. Nothing needs to be said or done about it because that's just the way it is. It won't be that way forever, but it's that way now. Last night, I reached my limit. Jack had gotten frustrated because he didn't know his multiplication fact for his 3's. Jason wasn't helping, in my opinion, and was actually making the situation worse. Jack (and I know this from experience) felt that every time we had to put a card in the "don't know" pile that was screaming out, "You're stupid!" So he got frustrated and took it out on Jason who then added fuel to the fire which made the outburst from Jack worse. So basically Jason and Jack then got into an argument (which Jack would lose) and it didn't end pretty. It actually didn't end pretty for any of us, myself included.
I announced that I was going to go to the library to return a book I'd found in Caroline's room that was due back in October. But before I left, I sat the kids on the couch and Jason was in his recliner. I announced that there would be no warning for discipline, and that Jason would carry it out. If the kids talked back, he would discipline them without warning, and he would have to carry it out. I'm tired of the, "I'm going to do this if you keep it up." and then don't actually do it. The message doesn't carry over well. I also laid out for them the jobs that I do, 1) Wife, 2) mom, 3) teacher, 4) tutor to Jack, 5) tutor to Caroline, 6) Coach for Caroline's cheer team, 7) Asst. Coach for Jack's team, 8) Caretaker for everyone in the house (and then find time to take care of me). I said I would have added a ninth one - House cleaner but we already had one that we paid to clean the house. Yet, it still looked like a Trailer trash family lived there because there was stuff everywhere. I told the kids that if i had to clean up their stuff I'd take their allowance. I informed them that the only job I get paid for is the teacher - #3. I didn't expect to get paid for any of it, because as a parent that's my job. However, I needed help and it was expected that I would get help from now on.
At this point, Jason started his own speech which indicated to me that he thought I'd just been talking to the kids. Frustrated, I left to go to the library.
On my way home, my phone rang. It was Jason. Jack had just brought him 80 cents. He was going to give it to me as my payment each week for my job I did. He would've given me 90 cents, but we have the house cleaner and we pay her. It was a nice gesture.
I did talk to Jack when I got home. I told him I appreciated the thought, but it all could've been avoided. When I put a card in the, "Need to practice more" pile it's not because he's stupid he just needs to practice it (like his spelling words). I told him I knew that's how he felt, because that's how I would've felt, but it is not the case. He just needs to practice, he can't add all the time. He's got to memorize them, and that's how we do it: We practice.
1 comment:
It's a good lesson: just because it takes you longer to learn something doesn't mean you're stupid or not trying. In fact, people who take longer and more practice to learn something usually know it better and longer than people who pick things up quickly. You are doing a great job learning what Jack needs in order to learn, and that's half the battle. Of course the other half of the battle is actually learning, and that's no picnic. Keep it up, and keep instilling work ethic -- both for school and housework -- in those terrific kids (including the big kid)!
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