A few nights ago, Jack asked me for my opinion. He had spoken with his academic advisor, and they decided on his course schedule for next year. Things are getting real for him. He is unsure about whether or not he's made the right career choice (he has), and asks periodically if I think he'll make a good go of his profession of choice. I guess these discussions and reassurances triggered a memory because that night, I had a dream.
This is one of the most gentle souls I had the privilege of knowing: Hap. In the picture, is his wife, Emily, the second most gentle person I have known. In my dream, I am walking along a path much like the one I walk on daily now that I have the time. As I pass, it registers that Hap and Emily are sitting there on a bench. I stop and sit down in between them, and Hap puts his arm around me. We don't say anything. We just sit there in silence and enjoy the time. Hap and his wife are now deceased, but in the dream, it doesn't seem odd that they're sitting there like they were waiting for something, for me. After a while, Em looks at Hap and says that it's time they moved on down the path. There are others to visit after all. As we get up, we embrace. But before Hap lets go, he looks me in the eye, and says, "See. I just knew you were good at math. You just needed to see it for yourself, and now you do." I looked confused I'm sure because after all, it's taken me 25 years to understand the why of things in math. I only learned that through teaching it. But Hap just smiles, winks, and says, "He wouldn't be doing what he's chosen to do, if he hadn't gotten some of those smarts from you. I always knew you could do it."
To some, this exchange might seem strange, even confusing. But to me, it meant everything.
Hap and Emily were the parents of one of my parent's friends. When I was in school, I struggled with math. I'm not sure how the arrangement was made, but my mom would take me once a week to Hap and Emily's house. While Hap and I worked on math and my assignments in the kitchen, my mom would sit and visit with Emily. Hap was VERY good at math. It was his job in a way. He was also an excellent tutor. He had a way of explaining to me what I was supposed to do that made sense. He was calm, kind, and patient. He'd always reassure me that if I wasn't good at math, his explanations wouldn't mean a hill of beans. I never believed him. Mainly because I'd go to class and get more confused. There were several times my mom would call him and we'd have a tutoring session over the phone. He never minded. He never got on to me for "not getting it". He'd just say, "It's all in there, you just have to believe it." Towards the end of the year, I mentioned that after the following year, I wouldn't be taking any more math. It wasn't required, was usually my explanation. He tried to convince me to take Trigonometry and even pre-Calculus. But I'd just scoff , or say, "Maybe I will Mr. Vaughn." However, I never did.
The end of my dream exchange was his way of saying, "See, I told you so," without actually saying it. Why? Because Jack wants to be a high school math teacher. It doesn't matter what type of math, just math. Do you know what type of math he enjoys the most? Calculus. The subject Hap said he thought I'd be great at.
Hap would be correct and that would make him smile.
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