Moving in the Right Direction

In 2007, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroid disease.  I probably suffered from it a lot longer than that, but when you are under 40, with 2 kids under 5 and work full time it's hard to pin down exactly what's wrong.  I don't blame the doctors for overlooking the problem.  There are a lot of outside forces that work against them and the patients.  On my end of the equation, I didn't know a lot about my family's health history (it turns out that my maternal grandmother suffered from thyroid disease) other than my dad had heart issues, and diabetes ran on both sides of the family.  Health problems are so often not talked about inside family units, but my journey has made it painfully obvious that it really is important.  On the doctor's end of the equation, insurance companies have made it difficult to explore options.  At least, I choose to look at it that way.  Honestly, if I didn't, then I'd get really angry and negative.

Shortly after Caroline was born, I started noticing small changes.  I was more tired when I woke up than when I went to sleep.  Simple chores got increasingly harder to complete.  I went to my physician who basically said, "Everything checks out.  You have two kids under the age of 5, you work outside of the home full time, and you basically work full time inside the home.  As the kids get older, you'll catch up."  As it turned out, my blood work showed that I was low in Iron and B12, so I started supplementing.  However, as time went on, the symptoms didn't get any better.  I vented my frustrations with my older sister, who in turn did some research (she's really good at research).  She came back and suggested that since all my other levels were fine, maybe we should look at my thyroid.  She'd checked with my mom, who mentioned that my grandmother had thyroid issues.  So my older sister found a Endocrinologist with a good reputation and I went to see her.  I went through my symptoms with her, and she did blood work.  I went back for my follow-up and got the lab results, and sat there and listened to her tell me that all I needed to do was make some "Life changes."  These included, but weren't limited to, eating healthier (I was a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers and went to meetings regularly and counted my points), get more exercise (I woke up at 4:30 to go to the gym, and then took a 2 mile walk in the evenings with Caroline in the stroller and Jack on his bike), and take vitamins (I already took Vitamins D, B12, C and Iron).  Just thinking about ice cream made me gain a pound, but I needed to make Life changes.

I remember sitting in my car crying and calling Jason with the results.  He patiently listened to me, and said, "That's a bunch of bunk and you know it!  Don't give up Sweetheart, I'm definitely not.  This lady doesn't know what she's talking about because she didn't take the time to get to know you.  I've seen how hard you work, so we're finding someone else."  He called my older sister to tell her what happened, and by the end of the day she'd found someone else.  This doctor was also renowned (but didn't take insurance), but I went to him anyway.  He actually listened, did the blood work, and also did a physical exam (unlike the first one).  Upon feeling my neck he announced that my thyroid was swollen which indicated a problem.  So I started going to see him.  It was a hit to our pocketbook each time because he didn't file insurance.  I filed, but we all know how that works...I got my money eight months later, if that early.  I kept seeing him until Jason's second transplant when money got tight.  I transferred to another endocrinologist that dealt with insurance and things seemed to go smoothly, or maybe I thought they did because I was so preoccupied with other things that changes that were happening to me went unnoticed.

Things began to change for me (that I noticed) shortly after I finished my first half marathon.  I had taken a break from training, because I was so tired.  When I was ready to get back into training I had a difficult time.  I ran in a half marathon in March of 2011, but struggled horribly.  I continued to train, but found that what used to be challenging and showed results, no longer did.  I started to gradually gain weight, and ballooned up to my heaviest since I was pregnant.  I continued to monitor my diet (continued with Weight Watchers), amped up my work-outs, and tried to get enough sleep.  But no matter what I did, I couldn't lose weight.  Every time I went to a doctor's visit, I'd ask but received no answers.  They'd always check my thyroid, and the levels would be fine.  I never thought to ask about anything else.  I even met with a dietitian for a year to try and get things under control, but even after the twelve months, she was stumped.  Just recently, I made an appointment to go back in a talk to my doctor because I was getting more and more tired, losing hair at a faster rate, anxious, and couldn't lose weight.  Needless to say, that appointment didn't go well.  I voiced my concerns to the PA that I met with instead of my doctor, and received much the same treatment as I did during my very first doctor's visit back in 2007.  Thank goodness for Kevin!  I was so upset when I left the office that I sat in my car and cried.  I called Kevin to vent, and he basically said the same thing Jason had not so many years ago.  "Well, that guy was stupid!  You know you do all of the things that he mentioned, and did he really say all of that to you?  Do I need to talk with him?  Don't worry, I've got a friend here at work I can talk to.  I think it's time we went somewhere else."  My son was even up in arms when he overheard Kevin and I talking about the appointment later.

Also, thank goodness for Social Media.  I vented on my Facebook page and was contacted by a friend.  She had worked with Jason when he was in Little Elm, and she reached out with a similar story.  She had found a place near where she lived, and talked me through what she had experienced, what she found out after going to this place, and the treatment she was going through right now.  I talked with Kevin about it and we agreed to give it a shot.  I am so glad I did.  It turns out a lot of my problems are hormonal.  In fact, when Kevin mentioned it to the co-worker he had originally talked to that I hadn't had my hormones tested, she was shocked.  So often, hormones get weird when they thyroid has issues.  If it turns out that my inability to lose weight, anxiety, mood swings, and hair loss are tied to the hormone imbalance I'll be relieved.  Last night when Kevin and I were talking about how I felt, I mentioned it was similar to the stages of grief.  I'm relieved (kind of like when an illness drags out) that I have some answers, but if it's truly just this then I'll roll into the stage of anger.  Anger at why no one (who is supposedly trained) thought to check the hormones.  I get that I'm in my early 40's, but if hormone issues are common with thyroid problems they should've been checked.  If it hadn't been for my friend on Facebook reading my vents and letting me know, I might not have even thought about it.

So today I start the new treatments.  Even if it doesn't fix everything, at least I have some answers and am moving in the right direction.