Overwhelming

This month has been a bit overwhelming for everybody.  Believe it or not 2 out of the 3 of us are overwhelmed with the idea that school will be starting.  I've resigned myself with the idea that in less than 3 weeks, I will return to work to begin preparations for the coming school year.  I've already started thinking of ideas for the classroom, which is a change, because usually I'm thinking about that a week after school is out.  This summer, I decided to wait, and I'm glad I did.  My anxiety and frustration centers on the house.  I love my house, and have given up a lot so that the kids can stay in the house that holds memories of their dad.  But summers in Texas can be brutal (although the summer temps have been wonderful this year), mainly due to trying to keep the house from settling.  Which leads to cracks not only in the house, but in my resolve.  I learned a very valuable lesson this year.  I used my income tax return to make a few updates on the house (things that I wanted to do, but didn't have to do).  It took most of the return which wasn't a problem, until the kitchen sink sprung a leak which cost an arm and a leg because it was after hours (thanks Murphy--whoever you are!).  Then the dishwasher gave up the ghost.  I looked on YouTube to find videos on how to work through fixing it, and was quite proud of the fact that I was able to work through a checklist to determine what the problem was.  Turns out it's the pump thing (girlie term, I know), and I have no clue how to fix that.  So, we are hand washing until the end of the month when I can afford to get a new one.  When it dawned on the kids that we were going to have to go a month without a dishwasher, there were mixed reactions.  "How will we clean them then?" and "Cool.  It'll be like Laura Ingalls Wilder's time!"  Next year's tax return will go into the savings account in case something decides to stop working over the next year.

August should also be renamed, "National Back to School So Teachers and Parents Can Go Broke Month". In trying to get the classroom ready, I've had to purchase some new items.  I have scaled back from purchasing classroom supplies for myself such as folders, spirals, pencils and such because I can't afford it. I ordered my daughter's supplies online last school year, but still it was a little much just for one child.  I understand she needs them, so I squash my complaining as much as I can.  But soon, we will get my Junior High student's list of supply needs and that will stretch the budget.  Seven teachers believe that their list is the only one out there.  Of course, there are other expenses for the month of August: Athletic wear to replace the out-grown set from last year, newer backpacks to replace the old ones because they had been used the previous 2 years and showed it, new shoes because for some reason their feet won't stop growing (size 9.5 and 13.5), fees for sports (Volleyball for the daughter), and clothes to replace the ones they've outgrown.

The anxiety for the kids revolves around school.  The Junior High boy worries about football tryouts, whether or not he should've signed up for PreAP Science (even though he absolutely LOVES science), will he be able to understand math and what happens if he doesn't and fails?  We've talked about going to tutoring, and how to problem solve should his math teacher have tutoring after school and not before.  He knows he needs to be at football practice to learn the plays, so he plans to see if he can go to another teacher's tutoring and if that doesn't work talk to his coach.  I've budgeted money for a tutor outside of school, and if I'm not mistaken eighth grade is Algebra, so I should be able to help him out one more year.

My elementary school daughter has been having anxiety attacks at night (because we all know that the Worry Monster invades when our mind is at rest).  Our biggest attack came last night.  She's afraid that she will have her teacher from last year (who announced two weeks before school was out that she was moving up) as her homeroom teacher.  If she is not in that homeroom, she will only have to see the teacher for two subjects, but that's only about 2.5 hours out of her day.  Homeroom is a bit longer, and she's worried.  Last year was rough for my daughter, and it was the first time she cried most of the fall semester and didn't want to go to school.  It took a few meetings with the teacher to feel her out and see what my daughter was having a hard time adjusting to, but then we had a plan of action and it ended up being a good life lesson for her.  Having said that though, I wouldn't want her to have to deal with that all over again.  She needs a teacher who will build her confidence again, before we get to the real tenuous parts of her life.  There were other things that were bothering her as well, and it all made for the perfect storm for the anxiety attack (being made fun of because of her braces, getting in trouble with her teacher and not knowing why, not being a good daughter because she was always getting into fights with her brother, us not having enough money to stay in the house, when Kevin comes up that means my sister will stop coming over and helping out at nights and Caroline will miss that, etc).

So maybe I should be glad school is starting.  After all, we will all be in a routine and (as far as my daughter is concerned) life will get back to normal.