I am experiencing something as a mom that I don't know how best to handle. Back story...I grew up with sisters. And while I loved them and played with them, I'll be honest, I didn't pay attention to things once we hit Jr. High. By the time I hit Northwood, I was in to athletics, my older sister was in high school, and my younger sister was still at Spring Valley. We were all so different, and into different things, I just didn't pay attention. I guess puberty wasn't very pleasant for me because I don't remember much. I probably blocked it out. But at least i feel prepared with Caroline. I know how to talk about to her about the change, and the hormonal imbalance she'll experience. But it's Jack I'm at a loss about.
I can talk to him about a lot of things. We've had the sex talk, the "yes I'm sure you don't have AIDS" talk, the STD discussion, the statutory rape discussion, the "how your choices will affect you" conversation. But it's the change in hormones that I'm having difficulty with. He's been very aggressive and almost worse than a female with PMS (sorry ladies) the last few days. My answer is to workout and get rid if the testosterone buildup. But that doesn't always work because I can't spot him on free weights. The boy can bench press more than me, so being a spotter isn't an option. What stinks is that I have spent my entire weekend on an emotional roller coaster with a twelve year old who is not only taller than me, but stronger. I hate roller coasters!He hasn't done anything confrontational, he knows better. But there's always that niggling voice in the back of my head that says, "what if?"
Kevin wasn't here this weekend, or he would've been the one to deal with it, and of course there's the fact that Jason's not here either. I know this is something I will have to learn to deal with, but good gosh! How many more years of this? I'm simply at a loss.
2 comments:
my ds is 13. we've been dealing not so much with physical aggression, but with emotional hostility. the only solution i have found so far that has seemed to work is encouraging him that men are powerful, therefore they must be very gentle. when we see the anger building, we try to nip it in the bud quickly. 'jeffrey, i know you're getting angry, but a man controls his anger until he needs to use it in the right circumstances.' i'll even ask him: is someone being hurt or abused? is someone breaking into our house? are you at war? (you get the idea.) usually, he'll respond with 'no,' and calm down. of course, we also send him out to ride his bike around the neighborhood...don't know if this helps. it's certainly not perfect, but it seems to be fairly successful...so far.
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